My History

My menstrual cycle started when I was 12 years old. I was elated because I translated this experience into being a rights of passage for me. I had learned that having this experience takes you into womanhood, which enables you to bare life. Little did I know, that it didn't work that way for everyone.

My cycles were irregular. I was told that the irregularities were only temporary because I was just starting my period. By age 16, I was still having cycles; however my cycles were still very erratic and unpredictable.

There were times in which I may have had 3-4 periods per year. At that time, I didn't mind because the P.M.S. symptoms I experienced were horrible.

I also noticed that I was developing hurtisim, which is excessive body hair growth.
No one was able to explain why this was happening to me. I was prescribed various birth control pills. I was also prescribed topical medications to help reduce the appearance of facial hair.

The purpose of the contraceptive pills was to assist my body in regulating my periods. I was advised that once the pills regulated my system, I would be fine.

I was also later diagnosed as having very high prolactin levels. Prolactin is a milk secreting hormone. The hormone causes lactating moms to secrete milk for her baby. When prolactin levels are high, the body does not ovulate. As a result I was prescribed more hormonal medications.

Nothing seemed to work for me. In fact, the hormonal treatments seemed to make matters worse. I tried several medications out of desperation in effort to help correct my problem. Unfortunately; no one had a resolve for me.

By age 19, I was convinced that something was very wrong.  All of the previous issues mentioned continued to exist.  In addition to that, I was in a long-term relationship in which no pregnancies occurred.

Both my boyfriend and I were college students. We were not in a position to raise a family together; yet we lived together in the same household and took no precautions to avoid pregnancy.

Our negligence was due primarily to the fact that we believed that I was infertile.
Eventually the relationship dissolved (thank goodness!) and we parted our ways. That relationship ended in 1992.

I took a break from monogamous relationships and began dating and maintaining platonic relationships. I was on the dating scene for 6 more years before I had the desire to return to a monogamous relationship. After 6 years, I finally met a gorgeous man. This man was so handsome, he was neat, clean cut and had a big ego.

I was attracted to his physical appearance, yet I was more attracted to his intelligence. He stimulated my mind like no other man had done before. His personality was hard, yet soft. The minute I set eyes on him, I knew that I wanted to mother a child by him. I recalled a tiny voice in my head saying "I wanna have his baby", when we met for the first time.

Why I was thinking like that, I don't know, all I knew was that I wanted to have a child by this man. The chemistry was there and we both expressed an desire to be with one another. I was 25 and he was 24, we both were still fairly young, yet I knew that a child was one of the things I wanted more than life itself.

I continued to learn more about this man, began to fall in love with this man, and feel connected to this man. This relationship would be the shift in my life in which I learned diligence, persistence, disappointments, faith, joy and hope.

My next post will be a fast forward to how we get to the point of agreeing to attempt to co-parent together, the ups and downs, the trills and the chills.

Until then, stay blessed and stay abreast of the drama and the challenges of the Single Momma Blogger!